How to Improve Memory and Concentration

Mark Tyrrell

They were so bored. The sweltering Californian weather didn't help, spilling dappled sunlight directly into the classroom; the kind of day created solely for prolonged beach time.

These college students were clearly distracted and unwilling to listen. The speaker, a visiting professor and perceptive man, could see the students weren't meeting his efforts to engage them; many hadn't been prepared to concentrate from the start. Suddenly and seamlessly, he switched mid-sentence from delivering his lecture in perfect English to speaking classical Arabic. And what happened?

Now the students were galvanized, all eyes exclusively on the speaker, the sunshine and beach dreams a million light years away as the mind-focussing power of the completely unexpected worked its magic. He reverted back to English and said:

"Now if you can just do me the honour of focussing your minds on words you can understand as much as you did on words you couldn't, we can still make this a worthwhile experience." Apparently he had their rapt attention for the rest of the lecture (1).

How improving concentration and memory will improve your life

Concentration is vital if you want to achieve anything. How and on what you focus determines what kind of life you have. Any great piece of music, painting, tennis stroke, surgical procedure, book, hoop shot, building, movie, or computer programming can only come about through the transforming power of deep and prolonged concentration.

And you can only commit something to memory once you've concentrated on it properly.

When you focus on learning or performing, concentration needs to be singular. As the old saying has it: "If you chase two rabbits, you catch neither."

To learn anything you need to:                                                                  

A, Concentrate on and commit to memory what you were focussing on.
B, Use this new knowledge at the right time by recalling it from your memory.

In a world of ever increasing distractions, those who can alternate at will between 'bigger picture thinking' and laser beam 'micro-concentration' will always have the edge. Let these tips help you concentrate and remember better.

1) Clear your mind

You need to concentrate and remember. But to do this you need to ensure that your mind and body have no other pressing needs. Imagine someone who hadn't eaten for a week trying to focus on learning a new maths equation. The drive for food would wipe away concentration on anything other than...food.

Look after yourself and you'll be better able to focus on what you need to. By purposefully meeting your 'lower needs' (lower but vital), you'll free up the spare capacity in your mind to concentrate better.

If you're hungry, eat before getting down to work; if you're restless, get rid of it by exercising before concentrating; if you're tired, then rest; if you're attention-starved, chat to a friend for an hour. If what you really need is to talk to someone or have a nutritious meal or catch up on sleep, then these needs will eat into your capacity to concentrate or remember. Once these needs are met, you'll have a clean start and a clearer mind.

2) Throw out the mental trash

You only have so much concentration to give. If it's 'stolen' by pointless TV, aimless surfing, or endless gossip, then:

• Your capacity to extend concentration may become impaired (just as taste for nutritious food can be spoiled by a diet of junk).
• You'll have less time to concentrate on what you need to.

Purposely cultivate quiet, distraction-free time. It's easy to get addicted to checking Twitter feeds, email, and texts. But we used to survive without this constant communication. If concentration is a glass panel, then all these devices can splitter and scatter it to the point of uselessness if we're not careful. Get used to less of those distractions (for example, discipline yourself to check emails only at certain times) so you can get more single concentration back into your life.

3) Get into the concentration zone fast

Ever watched a cat focus intently on a mouse hole or seen a truly great athlete forget everything around them except the serve or penalty shot? The future, past, all else evaporates when you concentrate this powerfully. The word 'concentration' may sound like it needs effort, but when you focus so intently that you get into the 'zone', then time flies by and you surprise yourself by what you can learn and achieve. And it feels easy.

To max up your powers of concentration, you can purposefully get yourself in the zone with this exercise:

Close your eyes and imagine seeing someone you admire for their world-beating powers of concentration. This could be someone you know or a great artist, performer, or athlete. Really see their level of immense concentration. Now imagine being them for a few seconds, really feeling what it's like to focus so intently. Now imagine focussing that intensely on what it is you need to do or learn. Still with your eyes closed, get the feeling that even an earthquake would barely distract you. Imagine holding the entire universe in your mind and then shrinking it down very rapidly so that now the whole universe just exists at one point and that point is what you are concentrating on. All else drifts away.

Get a taste of this exercise by clicking on the free audio session below.

And to improve memory...

4) Always remember: "That girl is such a minx!"

When I was at college, there was a beautiful girl from Belarus. A friend of mine fell head-over-heels in lust with her and would repeatedly say: "That girl is such a minx!" Later I learned that the capital of Belarus is, of course, Minsk. The Belarus girl was a minx from Minsk. Now you can always know that too; but what about those ancient Greeks?

You may recall the philosophers Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates (not personally of course : ) ), but who preceded who? Okay, imagine these three ancient chaps wearing togas and chatting (philosophically) in a luxurious spa. And that's your answer:

• Socrates (469 BC – 399 BC) who taught...
• Plato (428/427 BC – 348/347 BC) who taught...
• Aristotle (384 BC – 322 BC)...who, even though he came last, was great (so great he taught Alexander the Great!).

Who were the three astronauts to first fly to the moon? It's as simple as ABC (Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins).

Memorizing through association supercharges how much you can recall. It's called mnemonics (and if there's a mnemonic for that word let me know). The weirder and more vividly you can visualize what it is you'll remember, the stronger the memory will be.

Sure, that's how we can commit to memory, but what about recalling it from the little old gray cells?

5) Control your state for ultimate concentration

It's much easier to recall something if you are in a similar state of mind as you were when actually learning it. This is known as state-bound recall.

If I am very relaxed when I'm learning something but very tense when trying to recall it, then there is a mismatch; different states, you see. If I learn some information about, say, a colleague during a time when I am very angry, I am more likely to remember those facts next time I'm really angry.

If I revise for tests with the TV on but sit the test in total silence, I may have to imagine the TV show that was on (in the background) before I can recall the test answers. This would act as a prompt to help my recall. The TV show has nothing to do with the content of what I'm recalling, but it creates the context.

When trying to recall information you've learned, take a few seconds to re-evoke in your mind the way you were feeling, even your physical surroundings, when you were actually learning it - this will improve your rate of recall no end.

As with the mnemonic system, once you've done this a few times the memory becomes so strong that you'll no longer need to use these strategies. I now know instantly, for example, that Minsk is the capital of Belarus without having to recall a college pal's infatuation.

True concentration can accomplish just about everything you can think or dream of. Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone, famously said: "Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”

5 Natural Impotence Remedies

"Impotence - that's what it must be!" He had a gentle Irish brogue and had well and truly labelled himself as "sexually dysfunctional". Philip had tried Viagra, but all it had done was produce a headache "like Nagasaki!"

"The thing is," he told me, "I need a natural remedy for impotence. Can you help me?"

What did I do to help Philip with impotence? Well, you can read about some of the approaches in my article "Male Sexual Enhancement Techniques" - such as how to maximize your psychological attitude to sex, as well as some exercises you can do to strengthen erections (here's a hint: they don't involve gym membership). But here are some other tips and techniques to help rectify the 'collapse of stout party' and get you relaxed and hard during lovemaking.

Firstly: What exactly is impotence and what causes it?

Impotence - the natural 'curse'

Failing to achieve an erection that is strong enough or sustained enough to allow for normal lovemaking is known as impotence. It can happen once or many times and the majority of men (regardless of what they may tell one another) experience it at some time. As I pointed out to Philip, actually all men are meant to be impotent for much of the time. When we are in meetings at work, doing sports, reading a weather report, or wearing Speedos on the beach, not having an erection is a good thing.

When we're under attack or feel threatened, sexual arousal is meant to switch off fast. It's a myth that men are - and always should be - capable of instant sexual arousal (regardless of, say, problems in a relationship). But repeated failure to achieve erection during foreplay can start to feel like a real problem for many men; especially if it's a problem that spans different relationships.

So what causes impotence? Well, impotence can be caused by physical or psychological factors or, of course, a combination of both. It's good to know what's been causing it.

1) Check whether there are physical causes for the impotence

Do you regularly wake up with an erection? If so, then it's unlikely the cause of impotence is physical, as all seems to be working from a 'mechanical' point of view. Illnesses such as diabetes or conditions such as high blood pressure can cause impotence, as can injury or rapidly declining hormone levels. The blood needs to circulate well in order for erections to occur, so any condition which restricts circulation, such as smoking, may prevent erections. Additionally, overindulgence in alcohol may cause 'brewers droop' by interfering with testosterone levels.

Impotence can also result as a side effect from some medications, such as antidepressants, so if you suspect there may be some medical cause for impotence, consult your doctor. Also take a look at your lifestyle. Are you drinking too much? Not exercising? Getting too little rest? Smoking like a steam train? Sexual health is a by-product of living well.

2) Don't think yourself into impotence

Robin Williams once reputedly said: "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."

After laughing at this quote, I thought about it. (Don't you just hate it when people think about something before laughing at it?) On the face of it, this remark seems disparaging toward men. And it's often said that men give pet names to their penises because they "like to know who's dictating their behaviour". But actually women are led by their sex drives just as much as men sometimes and can also make "mistakes", ending up in bed with "the wrong man". We are all, to some extent, led by our desires.

I reckon the usefulness of Williams's remark (apart from the humour : ) ) is to highlight that over-analysis of sex can spoil it completely. "Will I/won't I achieve an erection?" is just too much pressure. The fact is that when enjoying sex, we really don't need to be thinking too much. When you focus on physical closeness and the enjoyment of being together naked, an erection becomes a by-product of the experience, not the end in itself. Stop trying to get an erection and focus on physical closeness - if an erection happens, it happens. But this is easier said than done, so...

3) Use self-hypnosis to relax about your sexual performance

It's easy for me to say: "Don't worry about whether you get hard or not!" But, of course, much impotence is caused by worrying, and stress switches desire off pretty rapidly. Self-hypnosis is a wonderful way to help you change your mindset and help you experience sex beyond concern with penile mechanics. In ancient China, the eunuchs reputedly made the best lovers because (without the use of a penis) they used much more imagination during lovemaking. To get a feel for self–hypnosis, listen to this short and free hypnosis audio.

4) Remember: impotence happens in context

If you've been experiencing impotence, it may be that you are bored in your relationship or with your lover and need to spice things up a bit. As the old joke has it: "Please don't come to bed yet; I haven't had a chance to think of anyone!"

Perhaps there are resentments in your relationship or your lover pressures you. Lovemaking isn't something you do to your partner, but with them. Give yourself a break sometimes - it would be amazing if a man didn't experience impotence in some contexts. It's not a reflection on you as a man, but perhaps rather your relationship or lifestyle.

5) Improve your circulation

Smoking is a very effective way of spoiling efficient blood circulation, which is why heavy smokers experience fewer erections than non-smokers. Any way you can improve blood circulation will strengthen your erections (as well as providing you with other obvious overall health benefits). Exercise, diet, and relaxation will all improve the flow of blood around your body. As will certain foods. For example, taking Ginkgo biloba for several months seems to have a hugely beneficial effect for many men (1). Eating garlic regularly may well have a similar effect (although taking it in tablet form may enable you to actually get close enough to use your erection!).

How to Boost Self-Esteem

Mark Tyrrell

The doorbell rang. She was perfectly on time. The first word she uttered was, "Sorry!" She said the S-word three more times before we even got to my consulting room. Later, Joy told me she sometimes felt apologetic for existing.

She'd had therapy before and been diagnosed with low self-esteem, but had unhelpfully been told to "start loving yourself". She told me (apologetically), "The trouble was, he kept telling me to love myself but he didn't really tell me how to."

Joy needed practical help.

What is low self-esteem, really?

Low self-esteem is a false perception of oneself.

If you have low self-esteem then you are better than you think you are. This is the definition of low self-esteem. When your self-esteem improves, it's because your self-knowledge has improved; just as the ugly duckling in Hans Christian Anderson's famous tale had to learn its true nature before it could become fulfilled.

But how do you tell if your self-esteem is too low?

Signs and symptoms of low self-esteem

Healthy self-esteem doesn't mean loving yourself no matter what you do. Shame, guilt, and self-reproach do have a place if we behave badly. It's just that those with true low self-esteem tend to feel these things even when they don't behave badly.

It's been proved a myth that people do 'bad things' such as child abuse, bullying, or drug-taking because they have low self-esteem (they might have low self-esteem, but that doesn't cause these behaviours) (1).

People with genuine low-self-esteem tend to treat themselves badly, rather than other people. So ask yourself, do you feel:

• You are morally worse than most other people?
• That you have less appeal than most other people; that you are uglier?
• You are stupider than most other people?
• You're unlovable?

You might also feel:

• Like never spending money on yourself or your looks because you feel you 'don't deserve it'.
• Your opinions aren't as valid as other people's opinions.
• Your low self-esteem is holding you back from really doing what you want to in life.

If you feel you have low self-esteem, here are five things you can do about it. First off...

1) Don't spread bad stuff about yourself

Low self-esteem makes you generalize a specific incident, situation, or trait and spread it to everything.

So Suzy burns a meal she's prepared for her kids and from this generalizes to: "I'm such a lousy mum, I can't even cook a meal!"

Jake fails a maths test and from this he negatively generalizes to: "I'm so stupid!" - (then, even worse) – " I can't do anything right!" We've magically gone from failing a maths test (specific) to being a failure at everything (pretty general!).

And more: Samantha really likes a boy in her class but is too shy to speak to him. She is mortified when he asks her best friend out. She generalizes this specific incident to: "I'll never get a date; no one will ever like me!"

This is known as 'globalizing' and if you do this for negative things, you'll feel bad about yourself. Knowing you are doing it is the first step to challenging it. If you catch yourself doing this - for example, telling yourself you're stupid because you made a mistake - then force yourself to find examples that contradict your own negative blanket statement.

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Next: What do you really think?

2) Look to the origins - briefly

Low self-esteem usually results from how we are conditioned by other people. If you were systematically insulted, criticized, or bullied, then you are more likely to have absorbed the negative messages about yourself instigated by other people.

Think about who these other people were and when you feel bad about yourself, take a moment to ask yourself: "Hold on. Whose voice is that in my head?"

I bet it really belongs to someone else originally. Starting to override other people's conditioning of us is the first step to psychological independence; the real 'you' (that you should be listening to) can be much kinder and more reasonable about yourself.

3) Be fair to yourself and others

Low self-esteem makes us magnify failures and personal faults and minimize or completely discount successes and personal strengths. Don't do this. Be fair. If other people say you are attractive, clever, kind, fun, or whatever, respect them enough to at least consider that what they say is a probability.

Remembering and dwelling on criticisms while discounting and forgetting compliments (or any positive feedback) is a very biased, off-balance way of travelling through life.

4) Ditch the imperfect perfectionism

"If it's not perfect then it's a total failure!" The idea that something is 100% useless unless it is 100% perfect, is a trap. Low " self-esteemers" often see things in very all-or-nothing terms. "That family is just perfect!/I'm just useless!"

Of course nothing in this world is perfect and no one is entirely useless. To stop this destructive black-or-white thinking, do this: Think, " If 100% is perfect and 0% is 'total failure' or 'totally useless!', how do I rate the meal I cooked?" This forces realism.

You might only give yourself 20% for the meal or your speech or whatever, but then look at that 20% and ask yourself: "What enabled that 20%? And how can I build on that to get to maybe 25%?" This breaks down the perfect/disaster thinking which drives and maintains low self-esteem.

5) Take care of your appearance

Low self-esteem leads to a vicious cycle. We feel bad about ourselves, so we don't dress well, keep fit, or get decent haircuts; but neglecting our appearance in turn causes more low self-esteem. Take time out to look after your body. Get a massage or manicure (unless you're a macho guy, of course : ) ). Buy clothes that look good on you. Don't see this as superficial or irrelevant, because the ripple effect of changing outward aspects of yourself can lead to changes on the inside.

And you can take time to close your eyes and start to visualize yourself looking fit, healthy, and nicely dressed whilst doing something you can be proud of - whether that's talking confidently to others or just looking so calm and relaxed. Or let me do that for you by clicking on the free audio link below.

Healthy self-esteem consists of:

• Honest respect for your own abilities, potentials, and value.
• Knowing your strengths and trusting in them.
• Appreciation and open acceptance of your limitations.
• Acceptance of these limitations whilst understanding that some limitations can be overcome.
• Freedom from being overly concerned with what we imagine others think of us. Whilst accepting these perceptions do play a part in everyday life, remember they do not determine who we are.

Remember: a diamond doesn't know its own value, but it is still a diamond nonetheless.

Joy came on in leaps and bounds. I noticed she stopped saying sorry (unless it really was justified), and one day she proclaimed: "It's as if I've found the real joy in my life!"

Public Speaking Techniques Tested at the Front Line.

"Please, can I come and see you? Please!"

"Well it's half past eight..."

"I know, but I'm petrified! I have to talk in front of three hundred people tomorrow at nine and (sob) I can't do it..."

How could I refuse? Thirty minutes later on that rainy night, face to face, Lin was telling me how she'd always hated public speaking; how she'd even fled the room once, moments before going on to speak; and how, being a regional manager in her company, she was running low on excuses not to present to colleagues. For Lin, the next morning loomed like a career-busting tsunami.

She was typical. Frightened public speakers generally fear the same things: drying up, mind going blank, making an idiot of yourself. Lin also spoke about her terror of being seen to be nervous, being heckled, or not being able to answer 'the question from Hell' from a more well-informed member of the audience. Tomorrow's audience was, in her mind, an amorphous monster whose sole mission was to seek and destroy...Lin.

I suggested that a public presentation was more like leading a joint exploration into knowledge and that if others had contributions above and beyond what she brought to the presentation, then that was all well and good. Of course, she was too anxious to be convinced by this idea at the time, but I came back to it later as she entered a more relaxed state of mind.

I love a challenge and I resolved, there and then, not just to help her survive her public speaking 'nightmare' but to prepare her to give a spellbinding, fascinating, humourous, and uniquely informative talk. I knew she could do it. Why? Because I'd been there myself. I went from trembling in front of a dozen people to super-relaxed in front of hundreds.

We got to work, and some of what we did forms the basis of these public speaking techniques.

1) Prepare more than just your speech

Sure, you need to be fully up to speed with your content - it needs to feel part of you - and Lin had obsessively memorized her material. But you also need to prepare the way you're going to be, feel, and come across.

What we imagine about how we'll react to the future has an effect on how we experience that future. If I keep visualizing myself 'falling apart' during my upcoming dentist visit, then I am actually priming my mind to respond with fear when I visit the dentist for real.

Lin told me she wanted to feel totally relaxed when up in front of her fellow workers. After years of presenting day-long seminars to hundreds at a time, I reassured her that she'd need to keep some of her arousal. We all need a little buzz to add depth, energy, even credibility to our speeches. And the right level of emotional arousal actually helps you recall facts better (1).

Sit down and close your eyes. Breathe deeply (make sure your out-breath is longer than your in-breath, as this quickly switches on the relaxation response). Next, visualize yourself as if you are a member of the audience looking on, seeing yourself up there looking relaxed, friendly, and in flow. It's amazing how powerful this 'self-hypnotic' technique is in priming your mind to be like this for real.

For a flavour of this exercise, click and listen to the free audio at the link below.

2) Take control of your mind

Fear blocks thought, but it also works the other way. Forcing yourself to think has the effect of lowering - even switching off - fear. And the simplest way to do this is to use numbers. The first time I was about to begin speaking to hundreds, I found myself suddenly feeling anxious. I immediately thought to myself: "Okay Mark, if 10 is ultimately terrified and 1 is completely relaxed, where am I right now?" I put myself at a 6.

Now, in doing this, I made myself use the thinking part of my brain, which had the instant effect of 'diluting' the more emotional part. Just doing this made me feel calmer. Next I told myself I would only start speaking when I was down to a 3 - a reasonable level of arousal. I focussed on my breathing, being sure to extend and lengthen the out-breath as compared to the in-breath. In a minute or so, I was down to a 3. Doing this gives you the control back - it's an amazing technique; try it. : )

3) Ditch the notes and connect instead

A speech is a journey. You need recognizable landmarks to guide your direction, but reading from notes can make for a hideously uninspiring presentation. Lin had learnt her material and felt that her job was just to regurgitate it like a half-digested meal.

No! A great speech should feel like you and the audience are discovering things together. As if you are making connections there and then from a solid base of knowledge. It needs to feel spontaneous, not like a pre-recorded playback.

Learn your material so that you can relate it naturally - as you would if you were talking to a friend. PowerPoint can be fine, as it can display valuable information and also prompt you, reminding you where you are. But it should be secondary to you, not the other way about.

4) Be a human being

However serious or factual your material, you need to be human. A relaxed conversational style is more compelling and comfortable to listen to than an overly serious, monotone, or dry delivery.

Vary your voice tone and facial expression. Keep people focussed. Tell anecdotes and stories and as you tell them, act them out in the way you use your voice. If you're talking about how angry someone was, sound a little angry. If you're describing an inspirational vision for your company, then sound inspired and excited. The best storytellers convey the twists and turns of their stories with every part of themselves, not just their words.

Tell stories and use your words to paint pictures in the minds of your audience, but keep the main points simple and clear. Summarize why you told a story in simple points, but don't give lots of unnecessary detail where it's not needed. Edit your speech as you go. Every word, no matter how relaxed and conversational, should count.

5) Model great speakers

No, I don't mean strutting down the catwalk whilst displaying attractive audio equipment.

Watch and listen to as many relaxed, entertaining, and dynamic public speakers as you can. Focussing on how you are going to do it well, rather than on how you fear it might be (see Tip 1), sets your blueprint. Modelling someone - allowing their positive attributes and skills to rub off on you - happens through repeated contact with or viewing of these people in action. I modelled my early public presentations on how other speakers (whom I admired) gave their lectures. Pretty soon you become the speaker that others want to emulate.

6) Relate to your audience (but don't worry about them)

When you are presenting, you are just having a conversation; albeit a rather one-way chat. All you need to be is you. Public speakers don't have to suddenly become 'information-emitting machines'. Scan the audience with your eyes, smile sometimes, and don't just focus on the more friendly-looking ones at the expense of the natural frowners. Relax about facial feedback. It's easy to mistake blank looks or even frowns as indications of a person not liking you or your material - when, in fact, they may just be anxious themselves or concentrating hard.

Most people will not be grinning ear to ear and nodding enthusiastically all the time - and that's fine.

7) Use humour where you can

Public speaking humour can fix ideas, as well as illuminating unexpected perspectives. It can of course also light up your whole presentation. But it has to be done in an (apparently) spontaneous way.

If I ever find the whole room plunged into silence in response to one of my infinitely witty remarks, I'll immediately activate Plan B and run out the back. (See? That was a joke and you didn't laugh!) Am I bothered? No, I'm cool with that. Really, though, I'll comment on the fact that no one laughed and sometimes that gets a laugh. More often than not, people laugh at all kinds of rubbish jokes - you end up feeling wittier than Oscar Wilde; it's great! : )

If you appear terrified when making a joke, the audience may not respond as they would when you are relaxed, because you are sending mixed signals. Your words say, "Look, I'm being creative and funny," but your voice tone, body posture, and other unconscious signals say, "I am terrified!" And people rely much more on these unconscious elements of your communication.

Overall, I think sprinkling humour into your talk is worth the risk, because it makes your presentation more interesting and fun. And it's a wonderful feeling when you make an audience roar with laughter! (When they're supposed to! : ) )

8) Handle your audience - you're the daddy! (Or mummy!)

A great public speaker will lead the mood of the audience and determine (not dictate) the session. This means you decide when it's okay to ask questions, how long the session will last, and whether one person is asking too many questions at the expense of other people having their turn. You're the boss (although a nice democratic one).

Here are a few (mini) public speaking tips for managing your audience.

• At the start of your speech, request that people raise their hand before any comments or questions. Or designate a specific time for questioning, such as at the end.
• If someone does begin to interrupt or make asides, politely remind them of your opening remarks. Most people will respond instantly to this.
• If someone tells you they totally disagree with your point, you can try to refute them or open the debate up to the wider audience - where, more likely than not, others will defend your position for you. Remain calm, though - there's nothing to hide. Remember, your job is merely to present ideas and information in a compelling way, not to get into arguments with one audience member at the expense of the others. Ask them to come and see you afterwards for further discussion, as you have limited time and much material to cover.
• If someone asks you a question you don't know the answer to, then admit you don't know and either promise to find out for them or ask them to find out for you because you'd love to know. Even the greatest experts don't know absolutely everything, and admitting you don't know something will earn you respect. If you're relaxed about it, then so will they be.
• Stick to the main points of your speech. You don't have to answer questions immediately or on the questioner's terms. If people wish to side-line, they can do it afterwards or during a break.
• Remember: It's not about you justifying yourself to your audience. They carry half the responsibility. They are required to be polite, to listen and absorb what you're saying, to ask relevant questions, and to know when to keep quiet. Your responsibility extends only so far.

And lastly, enjoy it! When you go into flow, it's amazing how comfortable you can feel, how 'at home', even. As Lin said months later when she'd delivered many more speeches, "I rock at public speaking now; and I love it!"

Overcome Masturbation Addiction

Mark Tyrrell

Kevin, worried about his masturbation habit, paused before answering my question: "Why do you feel it's a problem?" (After all, according to reports, most men and women indulge [or have indulged] in masturbation sometimes. (1))

"It feels compulsive now," he told me. "It's worse when I'm stressed and I've even started doing it in the restroom at work! It's as if I can't have an erotic thought or even a stressful situation without feeling I have to go masturbate!"

Rather hoping he wasn't having an erotic thought or feeling too stressed, I considered how attitudes to masturbation have changed.

It used to be felt that masturbation was a 'sin' that could cause blindness, stunted growth, hairy palms, and even insanity. Masturbation was thought to drain energy, make people listless and lazy. Sexually stimulating yourself was much more taboo than it is now.

In Victorian England there were even devices which would apply electric shocks to the penis if the unfortunate wearer were to stimulate himself. This device would then sound alarm bells to bring attention to the 'despicable act' being committed. (I'm not sure what would have been worse: the electric shock or the embarrassment!)

Masturbation is no longer regarded as an "unholy act of self defile". But for some, masturbation starts to feel out of control, disrupting normal activities.

"Am I crazy?" asked Kevin. "I mean, that's what mental patients do, isn't it? Abuse themselves all the time?"

Actually, no mental or physical health problems have been discovered as connected to frequent masturbation (apart from the obvious risk of soreness). And, as far as I know, there is no research conclusively showing that very frequent masturbation is a sign of any mental or physical disorder (although bi-polar patients may masturbate more during a 'manic' phase). I reassured Kevin he wasn't 'nuts'.

I suggested that over-indulging may indicate a need to:

• Relieve boredom
• Relieve feelings of physical and mental stress and tension (orgasm is a relaxant)
• Relieve other pent-up emotions (such as sexual desire for a particular person)

Kevin was relieved (proving that he could feel better without his old 'prop') and started to recognize why his masturbation had got 'out of hand', so to speak. Which links nicely to our first masturbation control tip:

1) Overcome masturbation addiction by knowing yourself

A constant need to masturbate may represent a lack of physical intimacy or affection in one's life. So rather than addressing the masturbation itself, it may be helpful, as is the case with any 'nervous habit', to explore the areas in life that are lacking (of which excessive masturbation may be a symptom) and address these areas. We all have basic needs for:

• Safety and security in life
• The chance to give and receive quality attention
• Feeling connected to a community
• Feeling status and a sense of achievement
• Having purpose and goals
• Feeling intimate with another human being
• Feeling challenged so as to avoid boredom.

Meeting these needs in your life helps you avoid boredom and a sense of meaninglessness.

Of course, masturbation only provides a temporary 'fix' or escape. To really make your life more fulfilling, you need to address your real needs.

Take a long look at your life. Are some of the above needs not being met adequately? Could excessive masturbation be masking an unmet need?

Kevin felt lonely, stressed at work, bored, and was hardly ever exercising. When we began to address these issues, he naturally began to masturbate much less. As his social life improved, he literally had less time to masturbate.

2) Take steps to deal with the habit itself

People often say (very sagely): "We must overcome the real reasons – the root of the problem – before the problem itself can be cured." But, of course, human behaviour and psychology is a system. And if you change one part of the system, other parts will also inevitably change.

For example, if someone is masturbating excessively then this means they have less time to devote, say, to their social life. But if they begin to masturbate less, they have more time (and possibly more confidence as they appreciate their new self-mastery) to spend on connecting to other people.

You need to take a two-pronged approach. Certainly look at the unmet needs in your life (that masturbation has possibly been trying ineffectively to meet for you), but also look at diminishing the actual behaviour itself more directly.

So what practical steps can you take to start masturbating less?

3) Don't be 'all or nothing' about it

You don't have to 'cure masturbation', as some may even be healthy, but if you feel it takes up way too much of your time and focus then consciously start to set limits.

If you currently masturbate every day, then start cutting down by a day per fortnight. Literally begin to wean yourself from daily masturbation. Tell yourself: "Right, this week I am going to have a day off on Wednesday" (or whatever day you choose) and stick to it. Use this day or evening actively trying to meet a basic need that may have been neglected (i.e. phone a friend and make plans).

Notice what you do instead. But make that promise to yourself and no matter what that little part of your brain does to try to get you doing it – don't! After two weeks, add another day off. Continue to do this until you are down to a level with which you feel comfortable.

If you break your own rules, then 'make up the day' by choosing another day of the week, but focus on the numbers. And don't masturbate twice on one day because you missed it on another. Talking of numbers: there are only a certain number of hours in the day...

4) Stay busy; the devil makes work for idle hands

Unless we are truly deranged, we need private opportunity to masturbate. Fill your time with situations in which masturbation would end up as local newspaper material. Book up to see friends, go to church, ski, or visit the local library.

Teach your body not to expect masturbation so often. It will get the message and, sooner than you think, it will feel more normal to do it less. Actively taking steps to fill up your time may also be a way of diminishing boredom or loneliness, which may have been contributing factors to the excessive masturbation in the first place.

5) Use your brain constructively

New behaviours can be fixed in place by strongly imagining them ahead of time. Work out 'danger times' – times when you would have been more likely to masturbate (on the bus, at choir practice – I'm kidding!). Now close your eyes and visualize yourself looking as if you might masturbate, then determinedly choosing to do something else instead.

Observe yourself spending your evening differently. Imagine the feeling of wonderful and powerful self-control and really focus on that sensation of autonomy. Practice starting to respond to the old 'masturbation triggers', then snapping out if it and feeling liberated. Or let me do it for you (the visualization!!) by clicking on the free audio link below.

Some masturbation can be healthy and harmless, but as the expression has it: "The greatest pleasure in life is self-control."

7 Common Relationship Mistakes

Mark Tyrrell

Love, friendship, intimacy, passion, mutual support... all these relationship benefits make for a happier life. Ah, that special someone you can laugh with, who shares your hopes, dreams, and concerns - and you don't have to book an appointment and pay £80 an hour.

Hold on a moment - we can be in danger of idealizing relationships. And of course, people can be happy without an intimate partner. But however you cut it, relationships do matter.

Research on pain perception even found that we experience less pain when looking at a picture of a loved one ⁽¹⁾. Healthy relationships make for good health and should help you feel secure, strong, loved, and loving - at least some of the time.

No wonder many people want a relationship. But for some people, it's harder for new relationships to 'take', to grow and thrive.

What are the seven most destructive relationship mistakes? And how can we avoid them?

Mistake 1: Being too desperate to 'hook up'

This is a classic and universal relationship mistake: Time is 'running out', biological clocks are noisily ticking like estrogen-filled time bombs threatening to explode, and panic sets in. Suddenly, anyone with a pulse and clean(ish) fingernails starts to seem like a 'good bet'.

'Wanting a relationship' is not the same as wanting to be in a relationship with a particular person. If you get too hung up on wanting 'a relationship' as a general idea, you may fall into the trap of:

• Flinging yourself at the first vaguely available (or non-available) creature to enter the room.
• Putting potential partners off if they sense you're as desperate as Gollum was for the One Ring.

What to do: Remember the words of the song 'You Can't Hurry Love' and don't. Octogenarians can still hook up, so slow down. Starting a relationship with someone 'just because' is like setting out on a voyage without checking for rot, poor engine performance, sea worthiness, and your legal rights. And in the long run, if you have one eye on the stopwatch, starting up with the wrong person wastes more time. Which reminds me...

Mistake 2: Repeatedly going for Mr/Ms Wrong

If you're in the market for relationship mistakes, this one can be neatly combined with the first mistake. If I repeatedly scrape my face on tarmac and then wonder why it hurts, I may need to take stock a little.

But hold on; anyone can mistakenly get together with a 'psycho'. Early on, they may be all charm and attentiveness (and you may be conveniently averting your eyes from early telltale signs - such as 24-hour surveillance on your house). So you can't always blame yourself for getting mixed up with the psycho, but feel free to blame yourself for:

• Staying with a psycho once the signs become obvious.
• Deliberately going for someone with 'dysfunctional features' that match characteristics of someone with whom you had a past destructive relationship and then later wondering where it all went wrong (see my face scraping example above).

Of the two points just covered, the first one is more forgivable (since I'm in a refreshingly judgemental mood), because it can feel harder to break free once you're in. But the second one?

What to do: If you're chronically pursuing mates (to use the National Geographic term) obviously flawed to the extent that relationships will be painful and doomed, then at least admit this to yourself and don't be surprised that 'relationships always go wrong'. Knowing your patterns is the first step to changing them.

Mistake 3: Game playing

There is a great line from a Seinfeld episode, and I'll try not to misquote here, in which one of the characters says to Seinfeld, "You shouldn't play games in relationships!" to which he replies, "What's the point of dating without games? How do you know if you're winning or losing?"

If we view too much of life through a competitive lens, we come to treat everything like a tussle, a chance to score points and get ahead. Trying to make someone want you more by acting 'standoffish', ignoring them, or trying to make them jealous is, of course, all about manipulation. If a relationship starts off on a basis of game playing, don't expect any winners long-term.

What to do: If you want a good quality relationship, be honest and upfront so you can both 'win' together. And refuse to be drawn into their games if that's what they do.

Mistake 4: Wanting too much too soon

Wanting to peg someone down too quickly to see whether they're 'committed' is like trying to insist cabin crew serve you their delicious vacuum-packed fare during take off. Give it a chance!

Telling someone you love them on the first date, planning your retirement together, or talking about 'us' and 'we' prematurely applies too much pressure and saps the spontaneity and fun from the early stages. Having to 'know how they feel' may be fair enough down the line, but asking them too soon where they see this relationship going can make them feel like they're being interrogated in a job interview.

What to do: Hold off for a while until you know each other better. Everything that exists in our Universe, as far as I know, has a time scale - including love. Don't be too quick to establish yourselves as a longstanding couple when you've known each other just a few weeks.

Mistake 5: Don't act insecure

I've written a whole piece on this, so I'll be brief. Give your new dating partner some space. Even if you feel insecure, acting too insecure too soon can switch off the relationship before it starts. Resist the temptation to be constantly checking where they are and what they are doing and/or thinking and feeling. If you really like them, it's natural to be thinking about them a lot; but remember they had their own life before you came along and they still have that life.

What to do: Acknowledge to yourself that it's natural to feel worried that you might accidently 'break' something you feel is precious, especially in the early 'fragile' stages; but remember that a flower seed, once planted, needs to be left a bit rather than constantly picked and scratched at.

 Mistake 6: Ditch the perfectionism

Fairy tales in real life may not look like fairy tales as presented by Mr Disney. Prince Charming may have a crooked nose, and your princess may have pigeon toes. What am I wittering about? Being so fussy that you miss genuine relationship opportunities.

I talked above about being too desperate, but it can work the other way. Expecting people to be perfect, then getting mad when their behaviour doesn't exactly accord with your imagination of how they should be is, frankly, nuts.

If people don't 'live up to' your self-made image of them, is that their fault? If you have too-tight parameters for how your love should be before you meet him or her, then you may be positioning yourself out of the market. Sure, there are things we all prefer, but some people are so specific:

• "He must have green eyes (and two of them!)."
• "He must wear designer jackets."
• "He must have a body of a Greek god, the mind of Albert Schweitzer, and the car of a London financier."
• "He must have a dollar-shaped beauty spot on his left buttock."

I kid you not; some people (usually younger people) cut off their own options to this extent. They may defend this with: "Why should I accept anything less?!" But this misses the point that, so often, something can seem to have all the right 'parts', but when those parts are put together, you find they don't really work as well as expected.

What to do: Open your mind to the possibility that you could be mistaken in assuming you can only have a relationship with a person who fits exactly what you have imagined. And remember that you are having a relationship with a real-life person, not a phantasm of your own making.

Mistake 7: Don't try to change them

There is an old Sufi tale ⁽²⁾ in which some villagers find an eagle, a bird they had never seen before. Because it was unfamiliar, they didn't feel it was like a 'real bird' at all. So they cut its beak, trimmed back its feathers, and clipped off its talons, at last deciding that now it looked like a 'proper bird'. Of course, it could no longer fly.

Treating your new partner like a project that you need to work on, like something to 'improve', is disrespectful and can make the person feel like you don't appreciate them for who they are or even know them at all. Trying to get someone to wear more trendy clothes, go for the jobs you recommend, act how you think they should, begs the question: what did you see in this person to begin with?

What to do: Remember the story of the villagers and the eagle.

Dating someone new should be fun, exciting, and enjoyable. If you can monitor and influence your own behaviour during this 'getting to know' phase, then you have much more hope of getting to know whether you and they really will work together without needing to blame anyone if it doesn't work out.

Knowing what may be wrong can help us all understand more how to find what is right.

At A Loss: The Unmentioned Social Risks of Keystone XL Approval

FPW

Washington, DC - Protests of the Keystone XL Pipeline over the past two years have sent a clear message to the U.S. Government – a message that Congress persistently ignored as pro-pipeline legislation progressed toward the White House this week. By voting for the Pipeline, Congress is creating a volatile business environment for extractive companies, which ultimately has and will cause profit loss for corporations like TransCanada. Indeed, TransCanada Corporation has already increased estimated capital investments for the Pipeline by $2.5 billion since 2008 due to “lengthy delays”, many of which were caused by community protests and opposition from environmental groups. A recent study by First Peoples Worldwide found that governments that ignore public concerns over resource extraction (the U.S. not excluded) foster community opposition and protests, which in turn increase site closures, production costs, and damaged reputations. The Keystone XL Pipeline is a lose-lose for communities, corporations, and the U.S. government.
 
Arguments for the Keystone XL Pipeline claim that it will create jobs, increase domestic oil supply and lower gas prices. President Obama’s biggest argument against the Pipeline is the opposite: “Understand what this project is: It is providing the ability of Canada to pump their oil, send it through our land down to the Gulf where it will be sold everywhere else. It doesn’t have an impact on U.S. gas prices.”
 
However, congressional approval for the Pipeline is a moot point as long asTransCanada Corporation lacks a social license to operate, or the acceptance of the project by local communities and affected stakeholders. Without a social license, TransCanada Corporation faces a future of continued protests, site closures, and diminished shareholder ratings – ultimately amounting to profit loss. Ernst and Young rate the “social license to operate” as one of the top three business risks to the extractive industry sector, citing that “the frequency and number of projects being delayed or stopped due to community and environmental activists continues to rise.”
 
What’s more, the recently published Indigenous Rights Risk Report shows that extractive companies could care less about the communities their projects affect - only 6% of publicly-held US oil, gas and mining companies utilize adequate risk management tools when working with communities. Moreover, only 8% of extractive companies implement any policy that remotely addresses community relations or human rights. At this rate, TransCanada has two options: either expect profit loss due to community opposition, or adjust their community engagement policies.
 
As long as protests continue, a social license to operate won’t materialize – and there is no end in sight for community opposition to this project. Recently, the Sioux tribe of South Dakota vowed to close their reservation’s borders, through which the Pipeline is set to run, if construction is approved. Right before the Senate vote on November 18, environmental activists installed aninflatable pipeline in Senator Mary Landrieu’s yard, one of the most outspoken proponents for the Pipeline. The First Nations-led Idle No More movement in Canada has been protesting the Pipeline north of the border for nearly two years. Those that would be directly affected by construction of the Keystone XL Pipeline, including landowners and ranchers, are some of its strongest opponents – and the most systematically ignored by both Congress and TransCanada.
 
TransCanada severely underestimated social costs on the front end of the project, taking a reactive rather than proactive approach to community opposition – which has resulted in a $2.5 billion dollar loss before the project has even started.
 
At the same time, Congress’ pro-Pipeline votes have been little help - governments that ignore public concerns over resource extraction and suppress democratic systems for participation in resource decisions create a dead-end for extractive companies, whether operating in Canada, Nigeria, or the United States. Bad governance is bad for business – governments and corporations alike must start respecting communities and their right to Free, Prior, and Informed Consent (FPIC) when working with extractive industries.

Peru: Bids for Oil Extraction to Bring Trouble in Amazon

The state of Peru is in the process of launching the bidding process for the largest oil concession in the country, Lot 192, which expires this year, while affected Indigenous communities are still waiting for their demands to clean up contaminated areas from the previous 44 years of exploitation.

2015 will be a fundamental year for the future of Lot 192, located in Amazonian region of Loreto, Peru.  Since the area was first ceded to oil companies in 1971, environmental contamination from oil spills has plagued the watersheds of four tributary rivers to the Amazon, the Tigre, Corrientes, Pastaza, and Marañon rivers. The current concession, owned by Argentinian company Plusptrol Norte, expires in August of 2015.  To continue extraction, the company is required to renew their concession, but first must complete a series of requirements.

The first is a Prior Consultation, which requires the government consult with the traditional leaders who form the Indigenous federations of the four watersheds, including the Quechua Federation of the Upper Pastaza River, or FEDIQUEP, by its Spanish acronym.

But before they will engage in a consultation for an extended concession on their lands, the federations have demanded that the state of Peru must clean up the contamination that has accumulated from disastrous environmental practices over the past four decades.  Their demands include remediation, land titling, and compensation for the use and damages to their lands. During roundtable negotiations last year, the government committed to respecting these demands, and signed an agreement between the State-owned oil company Petroperu and Indigenous communities to clean up heavily polluted land and water.

Pluspetrol president Luis Ortigas has urged the Energy and Mines Commission of Peruvian congress to accelerate the process to submit bids for the license for Lote 192, but have admitted that very little time is left to comply with the Prior Consultation.  His suggestion, with a flip of logic, is to hold the prior consultation in parallel with the bidding process, arguing that both can be achieved within six months and allow for the permit to be renewed to Plusptrol by August 2015 or given to another company.

Talk has also surfaced that perhaps Peru’s state controlled oil company, Petroperú, will take over the concession of Lot 192, which covers 287 thousand hectares and produces 12,242 barrels of petroleum daily, making it the highest producing oil concession in the country.

Regardless, there has been no clear demonstration of good faith from the government to act on the demands of the affected communities.  “The government has made promises. If they willingly mislead the Indigenous federations in the negotiations, they will have to assume the responsibility,” warned Jorge Tacuri, consultant to FEDIQUEP.

After the news broke that a bidding process would begin, FEDIQUEP president Apu Aurelio Chino Dahua urged Peru President Ollanta Humala to respect the process of the Prior Consultation.  “In Lot 192 consultation needs to happen. We will not be ridiculed.” 

The federations’ advocacy platform, PUINAMUDT, stated, “Before any bidding process for Lot 192, the Indigenous federations of the four watersheds have demanded that their rights be respected, and that the State grantees a minimum standard of attention, including environmental remediation, compensation for territories, among others.

UN Human Rights experts issued a warning in December during the Lima COP20 talks, saying, ”While the world looks on to Paris following the conclusion of the Lima Conference of Parties of the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change, the Peruvian Government needs to do more to protect their own citizens from environmental harm and prevent the recurrence of environmental emergencies affecting indigenous peoples, including the Quechuas, Kichwas, Kukamas and Urarinas,” the new UN Special Rapporteur on the rights of indigenous peoples, Victoria Tauli Corpuz, said,according to a press release.

“Peru must adopt measures to ensure remedy to such situations and to protect and respect the rights of indigenous peoples to their land, territories and resources and to consultation towards obtaining their free, prior and informed consent,” Ms. Tauli Corpuz stressed, in line with comments made by previous rapporteur Professor James Anaya.

Environmental and Health emergencies were been declared in the region in 2013 and 2014 respectively.  “Companies extracting oil in this region have left behind a toxic mess with disregard for the rights of affected communities and laws of Peru,” related the UN Special Rapporteur for human rights and hazardous substances, Baskut Tuncak.

“Peru has obligations to clean up the toxic oil spilled to protect the rights of people in the region, and to hold the companies accountable for their failure to respect human rights, before re-licensing the land and making an awful situation worse,” he continued.

Indigenous Youth Speak on the White House Initiative on American Indians and Alaska Natives in Education

Hauʻolihiwahiwa Moniz

In early November, I was lucky enough to be asked to testify at a White House Initiative on American Indians and Alaska Natives in Education at Russell Sage College in Troy, New York where I attend as a sophomore. The initiative, created by President Obama to offer a platform in which Indigenous youth in America could speak on their experiences in the American educational system, is one of the first of its kind. The men and women of the initiative visited many different states across the continental US, hearing from many different native students on their experiences and as a Native Hawaiian, I was lucky enough to be one of those voices.

As a Native Hawaiian I have many concerns regarding Indigenous people in education. My people and I struggle alongside other Indigenous peoples and minorities in this and many more aspects in life.

In 1981, Congress instructed the Office of Education to submit a comprehensive report on Native Hawaiian education. The report, entitled the ‘Native Hawaiian Educational Assessment Project', was released in 1983 and found that Native Hawaiians scored below the national average with regards to national norms on standardized achievement tests, they were disproportionately represented in many negative social and physical statistics and had educational needs that were related to our unique cultural situation, such as different learning styles and low self-image (www2.ed.gov). While these statistics were taken many years ago, more recent statistics have not show much change these findings.

As an example, Native Hawaiian students currently rank among the lowest group of students nationally in reading. However, in the 19th Century Native Hawaiians had the highest adult literacy rate of any peoples in the entire world, including western societies at an impressive 90% of adults in the isles (ahapunanaleo.org, cechambers.com, archives.starbulletin.com). It seemed quite blatant to me, in my research of my people, that this current ranking of Native Hawaiians is very much so in conflict with our traditional abilities.
 

My people are not stupid, we are not lazy, we are not incapable. And yet, why doesn’t the statistics reflect this? There are many reasons for this: poverty, substance abuse and a chronic trivialization and degradation of our native traditions, culture, and language (much of these reasons symptomatic of the illegal overthrow of our kingdom). While the illegality of the overthrow is not up for debate as the illicit nature of the overthrow and in turn annexation of Hawaiʻi was recognized and admitted to by former President Bill Clinton while he was in office, nothing much came of this. While The Apology Resolution of 1993 may be hailed as significant by some, however it was ultimately irrelevant and useless in affecting any real change. The illegal overthrow of the Hawaiian Kingdom did not only rob Native Hawaiians of their sovereignty and their kingdom, but it robbed the sovereignty and kingdom of many other ethnic groups who claimed citizenship in Hawaiʻi. Citizens of all ethnic backgrounds mourned the loss of their beloved Kingdom at the hands of the United States, but it should not be forgotten that it is Native Hawaiians who lost the most.

Hawaiians are displaced and disconnected from the land. According to statistics, 37% of the homeless population in Hawaiʻi are Native Hawaiians. And while 17%-42% of homeless in Hawaiʻi are employed full time it is obvious that the solution to these problems cannot simply be “to work harder” (hawaiihomeproject.org). The current focus of many Native Hawaiian families is simple: trying to survive. With a high cost of living, many families are living pay check to pay check while every day more and more Native Hawaiians have to look at the very real reality of either homelessness or relocation.

In terms of education, Native Hawaiians are well below the national average in regards to not only graduating high school, attending college, but also even in receiving education past a bachelors degree (18mr.org). There is a disproportionate amount of Native Hawaiians in education but and other professional fields. Even in an academic environment there is a stigma attached to Indigenous people. Prejudice is alive and well, from the fact that, while away in New York at college, I am repeatedly told that I speak ‘pretty good English for a foreigner’, to the fact that most students and faculty there either cannot or will not learn to pronounce my name correctly. They instead choose to nickname me "Hawai’i".

We need to give more time, money, concentration and effort to the education of native peoples. Although programs exist, like Kamehameha Schools and the numerous charter schools that focus on Native Hawaiians and their education, there is still a lack. Programs that exist are usually small scale and woefully underfunded. The government has made it clear repeatedly that education of Native Hawaiian peoples is not priority. This is painfully apparent when funding for Native Hawaiian programs are drastically reduced or eliminated all together.

Change needs to occur, not only for Native Hawaiians, but for all Indigenous peoples and minority groups. I am doing my part in becoming educated so that I may positively contribute to the fight for things such as federal recognition, the survival of our culture and language, the return of our native lands and the survival of our race as a whole. Only when these problems are recognized and addressed can the healing process for my people begin. My hope is that I can improve life for all Hawaiians, those present and those yet to come. I want to be able to tell my children that I did my best to contribute to the Lāhui.

While the situation surrounding Native Hawaiians seems disheartening and altogether depressing in many cases, one thing to understand is that it is not to late to right these wrongs. Native Hawaiians and non-Native Hawaiians alike can come together to improve life for our people and reestablish our rightful place and status within Hawaiʻi. We in Hawaiʻi will never give up and we will continue to strive for justice, equality and what is rightfully ours. Because Hawaiʻi without Hawaiians or Hawaiian culture is not Hawaiʻi at all.