THE PLAYBOY PRESIDENTS

Emmett Tyrrell


I have been vindicated! For years I have been
comparing the Clinton family to the family of
Warren Gamaliel Harding, our 29th president
and a president of dark memory at least to
most liberal historians. For me, Warren was
sheer slapstick, as to some degree his modern-
day equivalent was, Bill Clinton. And forget
not their gruesome wives.
I began my historical comparisons in the 1996
bestselling book, "Boy Clinton: The Political
Biography." For years, I punctuated my
syndicated column with references to the two
families. Then in my 2007 book, "The Clinton
Crack-Up," I clinched the comparison in a
reminder of how that Little Rock monstrosity,
the Clinton Library, compared so favorably
with the Harding Memorial in Warren's
hometown, Marion, Ohio. But now, you ask,
how am I vindicated? Well, America's
historical memory is not very strong.
Comparing Bill with a 1920s president to a
modern American audience was not easy. Yet,
by month's end it will be much easier. In fact,
the comparison will be inescapable.
On July 29, the Library of Congress is putting
on display a goldmine of romantic letters
Warren wrote his mistress from 1910 to 1920,
Carrie Fulton Phillips. He later had other gals,
most notably Nan Britton, while he was
president. Yet no letters from these affairs are
extant. The Phillips letters are voluminous and
very steamy. In fact, one cannot read them
without being reminded of Monica Lewinsky's
testimony in the Starr Report. They are that
salacious. Boy would Warren have had a good
time with Monica.
Of course, we only have Warren's
reminiscences of his recent assignations with
Mrs. Phillips, but that is enough to convey
what took place in a dark hotel room or under
an elm. He names his private part. I will
encourage my readers to attend the Library of
Congress exhibit by not betraying my
knowledge of it. He names Mrs. Phillips'
private parts while describing her other
physical attributes. It is my judgment as a
presidential historian that nothing quite like
the Harding letters have ever escaped from a
president's confidence, save the Lewinsky
testimony.
I am vindicated!
As I have written, the comparisons between
the Hardings and the Clintons are inescapable.
Both the Clintons and the Hardings came from
rural parts, albeit Harding had a more exalted
pedigree. Both couples included a clever,
assertive and forbidding wife who had
displayed above-average competence in
business and in politics. Both families were
compact; the Clintons had one daughter, the
Hardings had no children.
Both presidents were personable and charming
to the fair sex, whose nicely turned ankles
fetched their wandering eyes. When not boldly
at the helm of the ship of state, both
presidents vigorously pursued the masculine
pastimes of their day, golf and poker for
Harding, golf and jogging for Clinton.
Harding, of course, was less driven than the
Boy Governor of Arkansas and obviously more
dignified. He had a better tailor. He seemed to
age more gracefully and less abruptly in office
until he suffered a heart attack while in San
Francisco where he died. Then, too, while
alive Harding was freer of scandal. History
remembers Harding as an amiable bungler
whose scandals were revealed only upon his
death. Clinton's blunders began early and the
shadows of scandal crossed him earlier still.
Moreover there were witnesses to his
scandals, a lot of them.
Bill, aside from his scandals and pratfalls,
presided over a relatively prosperous and
peaceful presidency, owing in part to his
cooperation with Republicans, particularly
Newt Gingrich's House of Representatives.
Remember his boast that "the era of Big
Government is over"? Surprisingly, today we
recall Warren's presidency as prosperous and
peaceful, too. Amity Shlaes, in her book,
"Coolidge," recalls that he cut taxes, cut
federal spending, got the economy going again
and ended his predecessor Woodrow Wilson's
excessive regulation of the economy. Also he
endorsed African-Americans' rights.
So I am vindicated in my comparison of
Clinton and Harding, and one other thing. I
would welcome either of them back in the
White House today to replace Barack Obama,
who is not very funny.